HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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;AM HAYWARD WILL BE 90 YEARS OLD ON MARCH 14TH. MANY HAPPY RETURNS! FROM TONY AND BRENDA SPURRETT.

POPPY APPEAL 2002

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May I once again on behalf of the Royal British Legion offer my thanks to all those who so generously gave their help and support to the 2002 Poppy Appeal. Although the Appeal took place some three months ago it does not end until May 4th and only then will we have the final total. At the time of going to press our total for Carterton stands at £5,062.68. Many thanks go out to all the House to House collectors, to the clubs and organisations who gave donations for wreaths etc and to the shops, offices, schools and premises who used our collection boxes. My personal thanks to the Managers and staff of the Carterton Co-op and Somerfield Stores who allowed us to collect in the warm of their foyers. We did have three boxes stolen again this year which grieves me immensely but unfortunately this is life and is hard to prevent. It does cost the Appeal an awful lot of monies which you, the public, have so generously given. Thank you all once again. BILL GOSLING - Poppy Appeal Organiser

ST JOHN THE EVANGELIST PRIMARY SCHOOL, CARTERTON FROM VISION TO REALITY

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A year ago this `landmark design' building was just a steel frame and we all wondered if the reality would match the architct's vision. Almost exactly a year after the building started it has become a `living' building and we have moved into our exciting new school! We have yet to see if the building comes up to our expectations but with its high central curving corridor, and large work bays, it is certainly full of light and space. It stands out in distinction among the Shilton Park houses. We started St John's School in temporary accommodation last September at the Community College with 35 children. This term we moved to the new site, before its final completion, with 58 children. We are growing steadily in numbers of children, and staff, as houses are completed. During January builders were on site completing final rooms and finishes. From February onwards we will have all the space to ourselves. The school serves families from the Shilton Park housing development and those from a wider area who wish to attend a Church School. The Shilton Park development continues apace with four companies building a mixed range of houses for Carterton's newest residents - and our prospective parents. The school provides education across the primary age range from 3-11 years old with the new Nursery class opening after Easter 2003. At the moment it has 10 class rooms with the option to extend capacity if needed. As well as extensive landscaped grounds the school has a purpose-built Nursery, a good sized hall and other specialist rooms for children. We invite prospective parents to come and see the school and visits can be arranged by appointment with the Headteacher. The Oxford Diocese, St John the Evangelist Church, Carterton and Oxfordshire L.E.A. were integral to the development of this new school as well as the architects and builders. St John's mission statement is: Development, Learning and Caring within a Christian Community.

The foundation stone was unveiled last September by the Station Commander of RAF Brize Norton and the school's Official Opening by Colin, Bishop of Dorchester, is programmed for Tuesday, April 8th. There is an Open Evening on April 8th, from 6-7.30pm when any interested parishioners of St John's Church as well as Shilton Park and Carterton residents are welcome to visit the school. Do come along and see inside Carterton's newest community building.

TESSA FARLEY - Headteacher, ROGER BILLINGS - Chair of Governors. Tel: 843124

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LIONS CLUB OF CARTERTON - END OF YEAR REPORT

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Children. Books on drug awareness have been purchased for Clanfield Primary School. Assistance was given to two youngsters from a family who could not afford to go on a school trip. A donation has been given to Springfield School towards a fund for a Hydrotherapy Pool.

The Disabled. Help was given to the Tryards by paying for the cost of a coach to take them on an outing. They are a group of disabled people who `try 'ard' in what they do. A donation was given to the local Friends of the Blind Association for their local outing.

Senior Citizens. The usual popular party for the SWELS (Seniors with Energetic Lifestyles) was held again and another at Bampton as an Autumn bonus.

Other Schemes. The Message in a Bottle Scheme is successful with over 22,000 bottles ready in Oxfordshire fridges. Ask for yours at your Doctor's Surgery or at Lloyds Chemist. The Lions have also actively supported the Medic Alert Scheme, which is aimed at people with an ongoing condition such as diabetes or a heart complaint, this takes the form of a locket or bracelet. Just contact a Lion who will help you to get one (Pete 842693 or Mike 842354) who can also give information on joining the Carterton Lions and all the fund raising and social events. Christmas Fund-raising. An enormous THANK YOU to all those of the Carterton, Burford, Bampton and Clanfield areas who donated so generously over the period of our Christmas fund-raising, from everyone in Carterton Lions Club. We are delighted to report that we raised £4,502.00! This is a key time of the year for us when we need to swell our coffers in order to meet the demands which are going to be placed on us in the year ahead. We are in the throes of organising our annual party for the Senior Citizens of the district when almost 100 guests come along for an afternoon of entertainment and high tea. We already have applications, which we are processing, for needy people to receive Medic Alert bracelets which we are pleased to fund so that emergency health information is with them at all times. We have our special project in hand for the purchase of a special chair for patients who have had a stroke and are being cared for on a new Stroke Ward at the John Radcliffe Hospital. Without the help of all the people who have given so generously over the Christmas period we could not undertake this work.

Message from Father Christmas. He was very pleased to be able to be with us with several Elves on hand to assist. The letters which he received were all duly noted and he hopes that everyone is pleased with what they received. He met so many really polite and happy children and has already said that he would like to visit again next year. Mind you, he has his doubts about whether all the children who promised to keep their bedrooms tidy are still doing so!

MADDY RADBURN, Secretary, Carterton Lions Club

GRAND JUMBLE SALE

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The Carterton Lions are holding a Grand Jumble Sale on Saturday March 8th at loam at St John's Church Hall. Come along for the best bargains in West Oxfordshire. Clothing, Bric-aBrac, books, toys and games. The One and Only Cake Stall! It's Simply the Best.

`OUR' WITNEY HOSPITAL

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Just to say, once again a VERY BIG THANK YOU to everyone who so generously gave their spare cash to the above fund via their own collecting tins and to those on the counters of several Carterton shops. We are extremely happy to say that the following cash was raised in 2002. January, £220 for specialised equipment. June, £225 for Pressure Relief cushions. November, £300 for Blood Pressure Monitors and the remainder towards Special Electric Beds.

£745 was raised altogether for our local Hospital for items not provided by the N.H.S. If anyone would like a collecting tin for Witney Hospital in their own homes or business premises please telephone 84115 1. Thank you all again. BETTY GILES & OLIVE HOLDEN

CARTERTON COMMUNITY COLLEGE SEEKS ENGINEERING COLLEGE STATUS

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 Carterton Community College is applying to become a `specialist college' as part of the Governments programme to bring more diversity to comprehensive education in England. There are a range of specialisms which it is possible to bid for and we have chosen Engineering. Many of us may have a rather `old fashioned' view of engineering, but what we are aiming to do is introduce a `high tech' modem view of engineering which will make the best of the skills that Carterton children are learning, especially in Design & Technology, Science, Mathematics and in other subjects in our curriculum. So, the excitement of projects in sound engineering, genetic engineering, robotics, electronics, aeronautics and pneumatics, should engage all children in our community. Also we all know, `solving a problem' or `working on a project' involves lots of skills such as working with people, communicating and identifying and overcoming obstacles - engineering is an ideal way of developing some of these skills.

When we become an Engineering College we have to support and work with our Community in all sorts of ways. The most obvious one is with the five Primary Schools in Carterton, using expertise and resources to set up things like summer schools, Saturday clubs and boxes of special resources for projects for our younger children in Carterton. We are also planning an Engineering Design Centre, which when equipped will allow us to provide specialist facilities for business and other groups in our community to use. We would like to see adult education groups using it to improve their skills or help them towards a qualification and local companies being able to use it for some of their training.

We are looking to add to Carterton's educational and training facilities and offer a place which will be used all the year round as a place to broaden horizons and opportunities in an increasingly technological world.

In order to be accepted as an Engineering College we have to organise a bid and raise £50,000 in sponsorship. We have so far raised £43,000! Many thanks to all those who have contributed. These are RAF Brize Norton; Railtrack Ltd; Diocese of Oxford; CHK Charities; Richard Jones Esq; Carterton Community College PTFA; & donations from parents. When we are accepted the Government allocate £ 100,000 to go with what we have raised, so that we have £ 150,000 to spend on building and equipment. We then get approximately £90,000 per year for 4 years to spend on all the things we have planned to do.

RAF Brize Norton's message of encouragement sums everything up:

"/ am delighted to pledge f5,000 to Carterton Community College's bid to become a specialist engineering college from the Station Community Bank, which is funded by donations from the personnel at Royal Air Force Brize Norton. Gaining specialist schools status would be a tremendous boost to the Town and would benefit not only the young people themselves, but also their future employers. i would strongly encourage other local organisations to join us in supporting the College's bid."

Our first bid will be put in on March 14th this year. If successful our work will begin in September. If you want to know more or could help us in any way please contact Mr A Klee and Mr G Speke at the College. Tel: 0 1993 84161 l.

FROM ONE END TO THE OTHER

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In the September 2002 issue we mentioned a charity cycle ride, in August, to be made by David Wenham of Carterton. Here is his account of his journey from Land's End, England, to John O'Groats, Scotland.

On a clear fresh morning I set off from Sennen the closest village to Lands End, full of energy, determination and apprehension. Having given myself a strict eight days in which to cycle the length of the country unaided, I had had to pre-book accommodation and return train travel. Therefore any major mechanical (or bodily!) breakdown would have seriously jeopardised the event. Although only aged 31 years I don't cycle as regularly as I have done and my faithful companion is over 10 years old, with a good few thousand miles under her wheels. With some slick tyres and a good overhaul she seemed in good working order (like myself) but neither of us had done this much mileage continuously before. In hindsight the first day was far too long, Cornwall and Devon are both very hilly counties and, staying in Crediton, the last part of the day entailed going over Dartmoor, which left me exhausted. However from there, through to Lancaster, the route was fairly flat and although the days were long, the longest being 136 miles between Gloucester and Warrington, it was fairly easy going. From Penrith through to Edinburgh and onto Braemar, Inverness and finally to John O'Groats, it was very much more hilly but I allowed this in the daily mileages. I arrived at a very windy John O'Groats at about 6pm on the eighth day after 903 miles and 85 hours in the saddle. The official distance is 874 miles so I didn't deviate much but that did involve cycling straight over the Cairngorms and through the middle of Bristol and Edinburgh, neither of which I would want to repeat in a hurry. I had no mechanical problems, not even a puncture. Bodily 1 was rather saddle sore with wonky knees although I had a good suntan! Only half a day of rain meant that I had very good weather even when the wind was against me for most of the way (so much for the south westerly which dominates our weather!) I have raised approximately £1,100 in sponsorship and I would sincerely like to thank everyone who has contributed. This is being divided between Oxfam, Christian Aid, Sustrans, (whose trafficfree routes I wish there were more of) and youth and children's work at St John 's Church, Carterton. If anyone would like to make a donation they still can via the church office at St John's. I will send it on to the charities concerned. DAVID WENHAM

LUNCHTIME HELPERS NEEDED AT SPRINGFIELD SCHOOL

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Springfield is a school for children with severe learning difficulties and many need help and support to eat as well as close supervision in the playground. We are looking for anyone who might be interested in helping. It will be over the lunchtime and we will be willing to consider people who are able to offer a minimum of two days per week. For further information please contact Springfield School, telephone 01993 903963.

ROAD CLOSED

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Block a natural water course and it diverts to the easiest way out. Build a housing estate, on land that has underground streams, and you have trouble. At the beginning of the New Year we had continuous rain storms that swelled all the diverted underground streams into a deluge. These found the easy way out by the side of a Brize Norton house on the Carterton Road and flooded the area to make it impassable. Whenever there has been a downpour of rain there has always been a large puddle at that particular part of the road. With a nearby ancient watercress pond, a stream alongside the road and a house once known as Moat Farm (for obvious reasons) on the opposite side of the road the area is a site of great sogginess. Since the housing estate has been started the water drainage from that area has been very noticeable on the Carterton Road, Brize Norton, and has also flooded the underground heating system in the village church. This year was the worst with the main road from Carterton being closed to traffic completely for a few days. There are more houses yet to be built and more underground streams diverted, so can it get any worse? CARTERTON ROAD USER

TOWN HALL NOTICE BOARD

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ST GEORGE'S DAY DINNER. This will take place at Green's Restaurant, Downs Road, Witney on Wednesday, April 23rd. This is an annual traditional event with superb menu in celebration of St George. Tickets can be purchased from the Town Hall at £25.00 per head so why not come and join us.

CARTERTON SWIMMING POOL. The heated Swimming Pool in Swinbrook Road, Carterton will open on Saturday, May 3rd at 10.30am. Information on swimming times, admission charges, private hire and lessons can be obtained from the Town Hall, Tel: 842156. CARTERTON CHECK UNDERWAY. Carterton Town Council, supported by West Oxfordshire District Council, has been successful in securing funds from the Countryside Agency to take part in a national project to help revitalise market towns. I have been appointed to act as Co-ordinator for the work and am based in the Town Council offices at the Town Hall. The project was launched in November last year and will be completed in June this year. It involves gathering information about Carterton and the surrounding villages, using it to identify key issues and needs and developing ideas for projects to improve the vitality of the area which will be drawn together in an Action Plan at the end of the project. This will be used to attract funding to the area. Four working groups have been set up and have started gathering information on Transport, the Environment, the Economy, Social and Community issues. They hope to report back to the wider community at a Community Event which will be held on Saturday, April 12th, at the Social Centre and Recreation Ground. We are planning to provide free refreshments, attractions and stalls as well as information about the Carterton Check. We are looking for more people to join the working groups or help with the Community Event. Get involved and have your say about the future of the area.

CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS. The winner of the Town Council's Best Decorated Premises was Robert Stanley Opticians with Shillbrook Stationary coming 2nd and Michael Lowe Opticians at 3rd place. The Monahan Trophy for the best Christmas external house decoration went to David Stock of Jackson Close with Peter Strange of Hollybush Road in a commendable second place.

FOR WANT OF SOME PAINT THE BRIDGE WAS LOST. The Iron Bridge over Brize Norton Road, that is a safe passage for schoolchildren and babes in prams, needs to be painted but those wielding the paintbrush have decided that it is cheaper to pull it down and replace with a Pelican Crossing. Do you agree with the following letter?

Dear Editor, We were very alarmed to hear that we may be losing `our' Iron Bridge in Brize Norton Road. What CHAOS that would be if it be replaced by a Pelican Crossing as suggested with the 'mega' amount of traffic daily on that road. Please do write with your objections to: MR COLIN CARRITT, AREA ENGINEER, OXFORDSHIRE COUNTY COUNCIL, LONDON ROAD, BICESTER OX26 6HA. This is urgent. GORDAN & BETTY GILES PS. We thought the Town Council and Chamber of Trade organised an outstanding Christmas Lights Display in the centre of our town this year at Christmas; far superior to Witney! Special mention for an excellent display, was a bungalow, 33 Lawton Avenue.

FRANK WILKINSON - MEMORIES OF CARTERTON

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 John Ernest Garner came from Henley on Thames to the newly formed estate of smallholdings in 1902, named Carterton. At that time there were only 16 houses built and 9 children in the settlement. John Garner bought a 41/4 acre piece of land on the road to Black Bourton (then named Faringdon Road) built his house, Orchard Leigh and grew an extensive orchard. In July 1907, his daughter Miriam married Frederick Wilkinson at Black Bourton parish church and they moved to Suffolk where their son, Frank, was born in 1914. Frank was told that as a babe in arms he was taken to the first service in 1915, at the newly built tin church of St Johns and, when much older, read the last lesson in 1963 at the last service before it was pulled down prior to the building of the new church. In 1923 the family moved back to Carterton to be with their grandmother after their grandfather's death and Frank went to school in Black Bourton where the headteacher was Lottie Packer and her assistant Nellie Parker. Frank won a scholarship to Burford Grammar School in 1925 and at the age of 14 he had saved up £15 to buy a motor-bike to go to school and was the only boy there with one. Although not happy at the school, years afterwards Frank became Chairman of the PTA, Secretary of the Old Boys Association and Governor! Frank was a member of Carterton's Ist Scout Troop set up by Frederick Bell but other interests intervened when he bought his motor bike and he and some Carterton boys, amongst them his best friends John Browne and Ben Faulder, started the Witney Sports Cycle Club in 1931 (he won their first trial) and in 1938 they formed the Carterton Motor Club. With John and Ben, who named themselves the Three Musketeers, Frank formed a lifetime friendship and even when they lived apart, in wartime, and when Ben lived in Rhodesia, they still corresponded. Frank left the school at 16 when offered a job as junior clerk at Burford Brewery eventually becoming Managing Director 23 years later and retired after 49 years with the firm. Mr Kennett sold some of his land to the brewery and Frank was present at the opening of the Beehive Pub in 1932. The landlord, Charlie Smith, would indicate he wanted another delivery of beer by leaving a bar mat on the hedge by the road! Some years later a gentleman from Australia wanted his land inspected and found a pub on it, it seemed Mr Kennett did not own the land at all! Money changed hands and all was resolved. Frank's mother was a keen organist playing in many local churches and he remembers going with his mother and the Brize Norton church choir to the British Empire Exhibition. This trip was memorable for the transport, a solid tyre charabanc with doors to each seat and every bump and hole in the roads felt all the way to Wembley! His mother handed over the organ playing at Brize Norton to Warren Green in 1925 but continued in other churches. She died aged 91 at Fulbrook where she moved in 1951 to be with her son. Another of Frank's many interests was playing the drums and he helped to form a modern dance band The Dominoes with Frank Hanford, the pianist came from Witney and the saxophonist from Oxford. They were the resident band at the Cotswold Gateway Hotel in Burford and played in many local venues including Oxford Town Hall and the first dance held in the wooden built NAAFI on RAF Brize Norton. He helped out also as a vocalist and can still remember, and sing, the songs of those days. Another dance venue then was at the Carterton Womens Institute Hall where George Bell, of Swinbrook Road, played the drums and his fiancee, Millie Farmer played the piano. Frank met Edna his wife in 1937 and they married in Black Bourton church in 1941 with his best friend John Browne as best man. Frank remembered the tragedies as well as the amusing recollections. Mr Campbell, from Milestone Road, who was crushed by a cart outside the Masons Arms in Brize Norton. Mr Haggerty of Black Bourton Road, a bit worse for drink, drowned in a ditch. Sidney Hooper killed by a lorry on the bridge by the Brize Norton station, Harold Goadby of Swinbrook Road, only 22 years old, died 1930 in a motorcycle accident just past the Milestone Road. Frank has a wonderful memory for dates and people. He recalled hearing about Robert Irving who ran the Emporium shop on the crossroads, now the pub and Mr Gallagher who travelled from Scotland with all his stock and furniture in a horse drawn van in 1902, and opened our first shop, the Guide Post Stores, on the crossroads. He remembers Charlie Walker who had a horse and wagon for passengers and goods between the railway station in Brize Norton and Carterton and who always seemed to have a parcel for the Carpenter's Arms pub in the village, eventually emerging licking his lips and wiping his mouth! Mr Kennett who ran the Post Office on the opposite corner to the stores and Frank Jones who opened Carterton's first garage in 1923 on the road to Black Bourton. Frank Wilkinson was also known for the history talks that he gave on Carterton to various organisations and now we are proud to put his recollections in print. W. MORGAN

CARTERTON BOWLS CLUB Founded 1921

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Is open all year round with the following facilities: 6 Outdoor Rinks - 2 Indoor (National Standard) Rinks Full Bar & Lounge Facilities Very Attractive Bar Prices

Offering All Year Round Bowls and Social Activities

Arkell Avenue, Carterton, West Oxfordshire Telephone: Carterton (01993) 843366

CARTERTON BOWLS CLUB OPEN DAYS

The Management Committee of Carterton Bowls Club extend a very warm invitation to all those interested, to visit our club on any of the Open Days listed below.

If you have never played Bowls before, we offer you the opportunity; completely free of charge, to experience the pleasure of playing this wonderful game, both indoors and outdoors.

Experienced Bowlers are also welcome.

We will provide all the equipment and have experienced bowlers and qualified coaches available to instruct and advise you.

Open Days are all indoors, so do not worry about inclement weather.

The invitation is extended to all age groups from School Children to Senior Citizens, Male and Female.

If you are interested, turn up on the day of your choosing, or if you require further information, please contact any of the following:

Chairman Dennis Piper 01993 840297

Secretary Chris Hine 01993 212236

Assistant Secretary Roy Craig 01993 841956

Treasurer Sam Justin 01993 841306

OPEN DAYS Friday 1 Ith April (6.00pm- I0.00pm) Saturday 12th April (10.00am-8.00pm) Sunday 13th April (10.00am-8.00pm)

FIELD PLAN OF OUR AREA AND BRIZE NORTON 1797

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In the early 1800s this area was completely rural with farmlands and quarries being the main source of income. The Duke of Marlborough owned the land where Carterton is now situated and the Brize Norton area was owned by Christ Church, Oxford. These were the two big landowners and local people could not even own their own homes or farms which were rented. The main roads went to the market towns of Witney, Burford, Bampton and Abingdon but the smaller ones in our area were no more than farm tracks or paths. In 1797 Rock Farm had not been built and the road from Burford through to Black Bourton was named the Faringdon Road being the main route between the two market towns. The crossroads, as you can see, has always been there with the road from Alvescot to Bampton via Brize Norton crossing the Faringdon Road. Carterton may only have been in existence for 100 years but we have always been on the crossroads between the great Market Towns.

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CARTERTON EDUCATIONAL TRUST Educational Grants Available

The Trustees were delighted recently to hear from David Cameron, MP for Witney, agreeing to become Patron to the Carterton Educational Trust. The Trust was set up in 1994 to try to provide some help to people in the town who are studying, and to those who are providing learning opportunities to others. Charity status was soon gained. Since then it has been a long struggle to build sufficient funds to provide grants. It is the only Trust in Carterton and, as such, seeks to support educational opportunities in this community of 14,500 people. Many such trusts exist in villages and small towns in the area and they either have a substantial capital sum invested, providing a goodly amount of interest each year, or they have a regular source of income such as rental in property. The Trustees of the Carterton Educational Trust are still working hard, after nine years, to make similar provision for the town that will be sustainable in the future. We are extremely grateful to all those who have been able to contribute donations to our precious funds, which are held in an investment account. We are always keen to hear from any company or individual who might consider making a donation. If you want to find out more about the Trust, or to discuss a possible donation, please contact the Chairman, Mr G Clifford. Tel: 01608 81 1006 or the Secretary, Mrs T Marchant, Tel: 01993 841060. Meanwhile, we can offer small grants to those involved in education who live or who were predominantly educated in Carterton, and we are keen to receive applications. These might include degree students seeking help with the purchase of books or other materials; students undertaking projects abroad in third world countries; support for the purchase of instruments for students of music; playgroups or sports groups requiring new equipment; or materials for extra-curricular activities at schools where funds are not available from other sources. Anyone wishing to apply should obtain an application form from the Secretary Mrs T Marchant, 56 Sycamore Drive, Carterton OX 18 3AT.

ACTING COMMUNITY THINGUMYBOGS AROUND THE WORLD ... IN JUST 2 HOURS The Acting Community Thingumybogs put on their annual pantomime just before Christmas. The cast of 64 sang, joked and gave their all over 2 weeks of performances. With over 60 hours of rehearsal time, property and scenery-making sessions, 15 committee meetings, linelearning, sound and lighting run through and everything from putting up posters to making cups of tea, it has been a busy few months! It's been challenging, stressful, exhausting, overwhelming and tear-jerking ... but boy, wasn't it a lot of fun! We were pleased to eventually get around the world in a little over 2 hours! Huge congratulations

must go to the entire cast for their hard work and dedication, it was an excellent show. A BIG thank you to our audiences who make all the effort worthwhile, we are very pleased to be able to donate £1,700 to Save The Children Fund. Will we do it all again? Oh, yes ... Aladdin is at this moment being penned for rehearsals which will start in August 2003. If you are interested in joining us please call Sue 212911. And yes, we really are called THE ACTING COMMUNITY THINGUMYBOGS! SUE JAMES

CARTERTON LIBRARY, ALVESCOT ROAD

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Monday 9.30-5.00 Tuesday 9.30-7.00 Wednesday CLOSED Thursday 9.30-5.00 Friday 10.00-7.00 Saturday 9.30-1.00

SWORN LANES

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This was a house also variously described as Sworn Laines, Sworne Lane or Foresworn Laynes. The original name was probably Forsaken Laying (Denied Birth). It was well known to highbom ladies of the Oxford court of King Charles 1 st, during the Civil War, who wished to give birth to illegitimate babies in secrecy. This was in the 1640s and the house continued to be an upper class early-type maternity home until the 1840s, but why was it there? The answer lies in its position in the tiny hamlet of Stonelands which up to 1841 was an extra-parochial parish; that is, a place outside and not belonging to a parish. Stonelands is situated between the parish of Brize Norton in Oxfordshire and the village of Shilton, at that time in the detached county of Berkshire. Then, each parish was responsible to people born in that village or town, at Stonelands it was easy to give birth to illegitimate babies and for the pregnant mothers to parade around without being publicly denounced by the church. Some babies may have been fostered or adopted, as registers in nearby parishes noted their baptisms but sadly there were rumours of the new-born being buried in the house grounds. The house was built as a mansion in 1620 probably by the Fettiplace family and a licence was taken out in 1753 for it to be used as an Inn but it is more probable that an attached or part of the house became this Inn. It was named variously as The Lamb, The Fox and The Shakespear's Head and landlords included Isaac Hanson, Stephen Pratley and John and Ann Packer. The last couple mentioned were wrongly accused of murder and sent to Oxford Castle but the accuser was found to be guilty of the crime. The Inn was known as a place of ill repute frequented by highwaymen, robbers and men on the run. The Lying-in house was advertised in November 1801 in a publication, `The Private Laying In. Notice hereby given that near Sworn Lays in the County of Oxfordshire is a house belonging to no parish, well situated to receive Lying In women privately and such may be treated within reasonable terms by applying to James Hart, Sworn Lays Great House near Burford, Oxfordshire.' In 1834 the Poor Law was passed when relief of the poor passed out of the parish to Boards of Guardians who set up workhouses and orphanages (think Oliver Twist!). At that time Stonelands became part of Asthal parish and so closed a lucrative business. If you look for Sworn Lanes house now all that is left is a mound of earth. The house was still standing in 1935 and by 1945 it had been demolished but the history of this house, with its intriguing past, is still remembered by local people. Information and references for this article by the following: Shirley Barnes, Dr Howell Powell, Thomas Banting and the Rawlinson Diaries. W MORGAN

BALDWIN WAS 'ERE

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Colebrook House was built in Brize Norton in 1910, for the Station Master of Bampton Railway Station - situated in Brize Norton! Up in the rafters the carpenter, being of course proud of his work, left a piece of wood on which he had pencilled -WILLIAM HERBERT BALDWIN, 1910. CARPENTER. The present owner of the house would be interested to know who he was. Local or from farther afield? If you know who he is then perhaps this little wooden bit of family history can be given to someone in his family. Contact the Editor 842663

 TWO CHURCHES - ONE PARISH

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The churches of St John, Carterton and St Britius, Brize Norton are in the process of combining to form one parish which will be a Team Ministry under a Rector. Discussions have been progressing for the last year, meetings between the two Parochial Parish Councils have taken place and a committee set up between the Churchwardens of both parishes. There will be no great changes regarding the form of services or the general life of either church; much will remain the same. The Team Ministry will be given a new name and the Rector will be responsible for both churches, the Rector being the present Vicar of St John's church, with a new Vicar responsible for St Britius. At present St Britius parish is combined with that of St Kenelms, Minster Lovell but this arrangement will be discontinued once the Team Ministry has formed.

IT'S THE WAY YOU WRITE IT

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Be careful when you write a letter that you don't give the wrong impression. These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils and housing associations. For family reading some have been omitted from the list that I have!

I. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

2. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC 2. 3. Our lavatory seat is broken in two and is now in three pieces.

4. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared. 5. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

6. I am still having problems with smoke it my drawers.

7. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now is she pregnant. We are getting married in September and we would like it in the garden before we move into the house.

8. I am writing on behalf of my sink which is coming away from the wall.

9. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are just plain filthy. 10. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone around to do something about it.

11. I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times and I still have had no satisfaction. IT'S THE WAY CHILDREN SAY IT

From children's answers at class lessons or exam markings, noted by the headmaster. The school in question is not in Carterton or indeed in Oxfordshire!

Q. Who were the first white people in Australia?

A. Christopher Columbus and his crew. They were looking for Spain and must have gone wrong. Q. What did King Saul do to make David realise that he must leave court?

A. He through a spire at him.

Q. What leaves a wake behind it? A. Sleep.

Q. What does Kw stand for? A. Killer Watts.

Q. Name 5 flowers?

A. 1. daffodil 2. two lip 3. rose 4. dazy 5. wooden enemy

Q. Which French Duke fought Harold the Saxon for the crown of England? A. 1. It was the Duke of Edinburgh, he wanted to go on the throne badly. 2. It was Frank Duke.

Q. Who was Isambard Kingdom Brunel?

A. He was a famous man who use rort ion alot Victoria was on the list of ears to the throne

V ictorias long heir streamed down her back

The frog came down quickly. We got home before it stopped the buses running He has a habbit of pulling faces and stairs

When the cow is milked it is put into a sealed tin so that it does not leak The young of a swan is a singlet

The camel has big flat feet for walking across the dessert Joan of Arc was burnt at the steak

The philanthropissed put on a poncer walk to help the poor people

From an essay `About Myself' - "My friend is Roy. We are trying things in our tree house, there are lots of things hanging down along with Mark, Chris and Steve.

Finally not only the children find difficulty with spelling ...

From a letter explaining a child's absence: `I'm afraid ... was away from school yesterday but he had a billiards attack.'

GROUPS AND ORGANISATIONS

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BURFORD PRE-SCHOOL & TODDLER GROUP - Tanners Lane, Burford. Ages 3-5 yrs. Mon-Fri 9-12am. 2 mornings weekly. Nursery voucher provider. Toddler group Wed 1-3pm. Enq Sally 824031.

BRIGHT START PRE-SCHOOL - 2-4 yrs old. Daily 9.15-11.45am. Mon-Wed 12.30-2.45pm. Enq Carol Maudsley Tel: 842489 in term time.

COMMUNITY COLLEGE PLAYGROUP - Monday-Friday 9.15-11.45am. Community College Upavon Way. Enq: Maddie Davies. Tel: 844071.

COMMUNITY COLLEGE MOTHER & TODDLER GROUP - Every Monday 1-3pm. Community College Playgroup, Upavon Way. Enq: Maddie Davies. Tel: 841342.

ST. JOHN'S CHURCH PLAYGROUP - Mon-Tues-Wed 9.15-11.45am. 12.152.45pm. Tel: 07866 234106 9am-3pm term time or Kim Wilson 840347.

RAF BRIZE NORTON PRE-SCHOOL PLAYGROUP - Mon-Fri 9.15am-11.45am. Mon-Thurs 12.30am-2.30pm. Enq: Kylie Gorman 8972156.

WEDNESDAY CLUB - For Mothers and Toddlers under 5, Carterton Health Centre. F. Smith, 30 Stoneleigh Drive. First Wednesday of the month at 2-4pm. BROADSHIRES PRE-SCHOOL - Tues-Fri 9.15am-12 noon. Ages 21/2-5 years. The Old School, Broadwell (2 miles from Carterton). Enquiries: Jackie Overton. Tel: 01367 252192. (Registered for Nursery Vouchers).

HIVE INFORMATION CENTRE - 11 Ely Close. Enquiries: Gail Lever/Melanie Bushnell. Tel: 841497. Mon-Fri 9am-2.30pm. BUMBLES COFFEE SHOP. 12 Ely Close. Enquiries: Fran Jeffs. Tel: 846103. Mon-Thurs 9am-2pm. Fri 9am-12 noon. BUSY BEES. 10 Ely Close. Enquiries: Rose Bach/Nicky Ralph. Tel: 844011. 0-5yrs Mon-Fri 9am-12 noon. 2-3 yrs Mon-Thurs 12.30am-2.30pm.

RAINBOW MOTHERS & TODDLERS DROP-IN. Tuesdays 9.30-1 lam during term time. Carterton Methodist Church, Burford Rd. Enq: Tel: 845619.

EDITH MOORHOUSE SCHOOL. FUN CLUB - After-school care. Mon-Fri 3pm5.30pm. Enquire at School office or Phone Sue or Carmen 842372.

WITNEY FIRE CADETS - 12-16 yrs. Meets Witney Fire Station, Welch Way Mondays 6.30-8.30pm. Enq: Simon Bradley, Cadet Unit, 702722.

AIR TRAINING CORPS - 2267 (Brize Norton) Sqn. ATC RAF Brize Norton. Boys & Girls 13-18 years. Tues & Thurs 7-9.30pm. Building 901 (behind Gateway House). Contact: Bob Wise Tel: 212595.

CARTERTON ARMY CADET FORCE - Meets Tuesdays 7.30-9.30pm Scout Hut, Swinbrook Road. Ages 13-18 years.

ALLANDALE YOUTH HOUSE - Mon, Thur, Fri, Sat, 7.30-10pm. All enquiries Jo Melling Tel: 842416.

SAVE THE CHILDREN FUND - Secretary: Mrs Pauline Evans. Telephone: 842983. NATIONAL CHILDBIRTH TRUST - WITNEY AND DISTRICT BRANCH - Antenatal Classes and social events for parents-to-be and new parents. Enq: Andrea Mayho, Witney 773602.

2nd BRIZE NORTON (RAF) AIR SCOUT GROUP - Scout HQ - situated behind the Sgts mess, RAF Brize Norton. Tel: 01993 842551 ext 7929.

Group Scout Leader - John Gulliver. Tel: 01993 842551 ext 7895, or 01993 845914. Air Scout Troop (Age 101/2-16): Mondays: 1900-2100.

Chipmunk Cub Scout Pack (Age 8-101/2): Tuesdays: 1830-2000. Hawk Cub Scout Pack (Age 8-101/2): Wednesdays: 1900-2030. Lightning Beaver Colony (Age 6-8): Thursdays: 1730-1845.

BRIZE NORTON DISTRICT GUIDING District Commissioner: Pam Howard, Tel: 844631 Rainbows 5-7 years Brownies 7-10 years Guides 10-14 years+

Rangers & Young Leaders 14 years+

Millennium Activities Center 1st BZN Rainbows Weds 4-5pm 2nd BZN Brownies

Weds 6.15-7.45pm 4th BZN Brownies Thurs 6.15-7.45pm 3rd BZN Guides Mons 7-8.30pm

St Johns Church 2nd Cart. Guides Weds 7.30-9pm 1st Cart. Brownies Mon

6-7.30pm 1st Cart. Guides Mons 7.30-9pm

Carterton Community Playgroup 2nd Cart. Brownies Mons 6.30-7.45pm

The Hive (Busy Bees) 2nd Cart. Rainbows Thurs 4-5pm

Methodist Church 1st Cart. Rainbows Weds 5-6pm

WI Hall 3rd Cart. Brownies Mons 6-7.30pm

St Kenelms Hall, Minster Lovell 1st ML Rainbows Weds 3.45-4.45pm 1st ML Brownies Weds 5-6.30pm

Young Leaders meet monthly and work with their units weekly

CARTERTON TREFOIL GUILD - Meetings W.I. Hall, 3rd Wednesday of month. 7.45-9.30pm. Contact: 842026.

CARTERTON RANGERS FOOTBALL CLUB - President: Mike Stevenson - 842075. Chairman: Nick Truman - 842753. Secretary: Mrs Ann Callen - 845126. MANAGERS: Girls - Julia Nichols 704450 Ul 1's Colts - Jeremy Yallop 841491 U7's - Darren Lee 214515 U 12's - John Williams 844515

U8's - Chris Richardson 212398 U13's - Baden Sparkes 213116

U8's Colts- Ian Hempsall 213248 U14's- Rob King 214227

U9's - Gary Brown 07900572497 U15's - Pete Kelly 845663 U9's Colts - Barry Hedges 843209 U16's - Kev Trethowan 840315

U 10's - Les Bishop 840055 Mens 1 st Team - Pete Lamb 844004 U 10's Colts - Jeremy Allen 846888 Mens Reserves - Vince Bush 213733

Ul l's- Ritchie Barnes 213170 Ladies Team-Debbie Richards772385 CARTERTON TOWN FOOTBALL CLUB

Chairman: Bob Taylor- 840214. Steward/Hall Hire: Hugo Pill 842410. Mini Soccer: Paul King - 840412.

For details on all other teams, contact the Football Club 842410.

SWINDON BULLDOGS RUGBY LEAGUE TEAM - Tuesdays 7-9pm. Supermarine Swindon Sports Ground. Contact Neil Ferguson 01793 614703.

CARTERTON GYMNASTIC CLUB - Enq: D. Newton. Tel: Witney 703670. CARTERTON JUDO CLUB - Tues 7.30pm. Allandale Youth House. Enq: David Small, 16 Shillbrook Avenue. Tel: 843267.

BUSHINDO-KAI MARTIAL ARTS - Thursdays & Fridays 8.30-10pm. W.I. Hall, Carterton. Encl. J. Williamson 840205.

CARTERTON SQUASH CLUB - Contact: Gavin Powell, 845220. Club House: 842996. BADMINTON CLUB - Witney Leys Badminton Club. Wed 7.30pm-10.30pm (in Woodgreen School Sports Hall - 4 courts). All welcome. SUMMER CLUB too. Tel. Graham 01993 702219

WITNEY & CARTERTON BADMINTON CLUB - Wednesdays 8-10pm. Community College, Upavon Way, Carterton. Enq. Mr Aggawal 774164.

SHORT-TENNIS CLUB - Mondays 4-5pm. 5-6pm. Carterton Community College. Enquiries to Rachel. Tel: 842816 or Mobile 0589 973914.

CARTERTON BOWLS CLUB - Arkell Avenue. Open all year round. Bar and Lounge facilities available nightly. Instruction for beginners. Membership applications and information: 843366 After 6.30pm.

CARTERTON HOCKEY CLUB - Meets at Carterton Astro Turf, Upavon Way. Adults Weds 7.00-8.30pm. Telephone 01451 844776.

KILKENNY CRICKET CLUB - Contact: Fixtures Secretary, Mr S Wixey 842993. Secretary, Mr J Williams 214010. Captain, Mr I Price 213831.

WINDRUSH COLLECTORS SOCIETY - Meetings 2nd Wednesday of month. 7.45pm Carterton Social Centre. Enquiries: Mr Everett Tel: 213030.

FULBROOK CAMERA CLUB - Enq: Ellen or Gordon Parker 843985.

SHILL VALLEY LACEMAKERS - Meets 1st Mon in the month. Town Hall, Carterton 7.30-9.30pm. Ring Julie 840276.

BUTTERCROSS QUILTERS - Meets every 2nd Tuesday. The Buffet Room, Langdale Hall, Witney 7.30-9.30pm. Tel: 841704.

COTSWOLD FLOWER CLUB - 1st Wed. of each month, W.I. Hall 7.30-9.30pm. Secretary: Ann Hancock. Tel: 842197. Chairwoman: Mrs Betty Holmes Tel: 841140. WITNEY BRIDGE CLUB - Wed. 7.15pm. Burwell Hall, Witney. Enq: Alexander Bain - Tel: 840984.

WITNEY LOCAL HISTORY SOCIETY. Meets 3rd Tuesday in month. Sept-May. 7.30pm in Corn Exchange, Witney. Enquiries Tel: 779093.

ACTING COMMUNITY THINGUMYBOGS - Rehearsals in Drama Theatre, 7-9pm. Community College, Thursdays. Enq: Sue 212911.

RAF BRIZE NORTON THEATRE CLUB - Splinter Village, Hut 49a. Wed. 8.30pm. Enq: Pat Roberts 07946 629688/Sam Dick-Marner 07980 863789.

WITNEY SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCERS - Mondays during term time, Henry Box School, Witney. 7.45-9.45pm. Enq: Alexander Bain - Tel: 840984. DUCKLINGTON MORRIS DANCERS - Practices 2nd & 4th Tuesday of each month. 8pm Ducklington Village Hall - and afterwards in 'The Bell'. Information contact Andy Cheyne 831657 or Neil Sleight 01865 241081.

WITNEY SEQUENCE DANCING CLUB. Tuesday evenings 7-iOpm. Beginners tuition 6.30-7pm. Langdale Hall, Witney. Modern, old time & Latin dances. Enquiries 01865 722250.

SONGSTERS. Meets Wed/Thurs 7.30pm. Further details from Chairman - George Fox 842187 or Secretary/Musical Director - Dee Bulley 842427.

RAF BRIZE NORTON SINGERS - Officer in Charge: Flt. Lt. S. P. Hamilton. Secretary: M. Spalding, 1 Finchdale Close, Carterton. Tel: 842229. Meets Mondays. 7.45pm RAF Community Centre.

WITNEY AND DISTRICT CITIZENS ORCHESTRA - Rehearsals Monday afternoons 2-4.30pm Corn Exchange, Witney. Details: Tel: Witney 704566. AEROBICS/STEP AEROBICS - Day (with qualified creche facility) and evening classes in Carterton. For days and times and more information contact: Janey Slader. Tel: 845812.

BRITISH HEART FOUNDATION CARTERTON BRANCH - Chairman: Edith Richens. Tel: 841954. Secretary: Joyce May. Tel: 842585.

CARTERTON OVER 60's & EARLY RETIRED CLUB - Meets every Fri 2-4pm at Social Centre, Alvescot Road. Ring May Satell 841682.

AGE CONCERN DAY CENTRE - Meets every Mon, Tues, Wed & Thurs. Access Rd, Lawton Ave, Carterton. Enquiries to: Jenny Hedges 840162.

FRIENDSHIP GROUP - Tues Coffee Morning 10-12 noon at Allendale Youth House. Thurs 2-5pm. Enq: Mrs Pearman 842255.

FRIENDS AND NEIGHBOURS - Alternate Thurs. 2-4pm. W.I. Hall. Chairman: Mr H. Pickett, 35 Edgeworth Drive, Carterton. Tel: 845041. Secretary: Mrs E. Hainsworth, 26 Shilldeane Drive, Carterton. Tel: 842157.

UNIVERSITY OF THE THIRD AGE - Meets 1st & 3rd Thursday of month. 2pm. Langdale Hall. For people 50 years & over. New interests & new friends. Details Eric Cole 772961.

THE SYCAMORES TENANTS & RESIDENTS ASSOCIATION - This association covers Arkell Ave, Rock Road, Rock Close, Sycamore Drive. Meetings 1 st Monday of month at 7.30pm at Blenheim Court, Sycamore Drive. Contact: Secretary, Mrs Tan Marchant. Tel: 841060.

WITNEY TALKING NEWSPAPER FOR THE BLIND - Secretary: Peter Bee 703837 or Margaret Bettesworth 702692.

ADVICE AND NEIGHBOURHOOD CENTRE - Thurs 10-4pm. Sats. 10-11.30am. Tel: 845884.

VOLUNTEER LINK-UP - Matching people with time to spare to those who need help. Mon-Fri 9am-1 pm. 10 Wesley Walk, High Street, Witney. Tel: 776277. CHALLENGER CLUB - For the physically handicapped and the able-bodied. Meetings held on the last Thursday in the month, Town Hall, Alvescot Road, 2-4pm. All enquiries to Mrs Carey, Greenview, Arkell Ave, Carterton - Telephone: 843663. SPRINGBOARD CHILDREN, ADULTS & FAMILIES PROJECT-Supports individuals/ families with anxiety, depression/long term mental health. Drop In for adults Mondays & Fridays 10am-3pm. Enq. Doreen 841740 Mon-Frid 10am-5pm.

WEST OXFORDSHIRE CITIZEN ADVOCACY - Volunteers speak up for people who cannot communicate well. Enq. Anthony Richards 704826.

CARTERTON ST. JOHN AMBULANCE BRIGADE - Cadets. Contact: Claire Hammond. Tel: 212687. Adults. Contact: Dave Wesson. Tel: 779842.

ROYAL NATIONAL LIFE BOAT INSTITUTION - Windrush Valley Branch. Enq: Chairman - Mr P. H. Thompson. Tel: 841325 or Representative - Mrs Pat Shepherd. CARTERTON LIONS CLUB - President: Chris Cherry Tel: 843064. Secretary: Maddy Radburn Tel: 772241. Meets 8pm 1st Tuesday of the month at The Old Bull, Burford.

ORDER OF LADIES GLADE - The Belle Glade No 513 meets every Mon. 8pm at the Activities Centre, Splinter Village, RAF Brize Norton. Secretary: Mrs J. Pearce. Tel: 843696.

ROYAL ANTEDILUVIAN ORDER OF BUFFALOES - Flaming Torch Lodge 7494 every Thurs. 8pm, Social Centre. Sec: Mr M. C. Drew, 46 Ampney Orchard, Bampton. Tel: 210129.

CARTERTON & BRIZE NORTON BRANCH, ROYAL AIR FORCES ASSOCIATION - Information contact Bob Wise, 3 Humphries Close 212595 or Secretary: Phil Caswell 212429. Meetings: 8pm 2nd Monday of each month at Bowls Club, Arkell Ave, Carterton.

FARINGDON & LECHLADE ROUND TABLE - Meets 1st and 3rd Monday of month. At Crown Hotel, Faringdon. Begins 7.30pm. Enquiries to Ray Bather. Carterton 843205. RSPCA - Local Secretary Jason Kibble, 16 Hillview, Carterton. Tel: 213225.

LOST AND FOUND BIRDS REGISTER - Also birds cared for in your absence. All enquiries phone: 841778.

CATS PROTECTION LEAGUE, W. OXON BRANCH - Co-ordinator: Lou Tyack. Tel: 01608 659940.

CARTERTON EDUCATIONAL TRUST - Provides funds to groups & individuals for educational purposes. Further details of this charitable trust contact: Mrs T. Marchant. Hon. Secretary, 56 Sycamore Drive, Carterton.

WITNEY MOTOR CLUB - Meets 2nd and 4th Thurs of each month. Secretary Simon Bradley, 7 Beech Road, Witney. Tel:702722.

CHAMBER OF TRADE - Hon. Sec.: Mrs C. Byrne, 42 Foxcroft Drive. Tel: 212872. SWINBROOK ROAD ALLOTMENTS ASSOCIATION - Enq: Sec. Mr M. Alcock, 8 Shillbrook Road, Carterton. Tel: 841704.

SOCIAL CLUB - Social Centre, Browne's Lane. Large Bar open Thurs, Fri, Sat and Sunday lunchtimes and each evening. Small Bar open Mon, Tues, Wed and Sunday lunchtimes. Fri, Sat and Sunday evenings. Enquiries: R. Cleary 842489.

SOCIAL CENTRE - (Carterton & Black Bourton Village Hall) Browne's Lane. Booking Secretary: Mr Barnard, Tel: 07765 502258.

CARTERTON WOMENS INSTITUTE - Every 2nd Tues. 7.30pm at the WI Hall Brize Norton Road. President: Mrs C. Sherwood 843919. Sec: Mrs B. Fall - Tel: 841674. W.I. BOOKING CLERK - Mrs B. Fall - Tel: 841674.

BROADSHIRES HEALTH CENTRE- Broadshire Way, Carterton. Tel: 844567. CARTERTON HEALTH CENTRE. Alvescot Road. Tel: 841718.

METHODIST CHURCH - Rev. Andy Chislett-McDonald, 51 Scholars Acre, Carterton, Tel: 845322.

CATHOLIC CHURCH - Father Emmanuel Gili-Hammett & Father Bengt-Ove Jakobsson. The Presbytery, Arkell Ave. Tel: 842463.

CHURCH OF ENGLAND - Rev. Roger Billings, The Vicarage, Burford Road. Tel: 842429.

WITNEY & CARTERTON COMMUNITY CHURCH - Kings School, New Yatt Rd. 10.30am Sundays. Details: Mr Ellwood 704606.

FAMILY LIFE

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 `Ge' cried Uranus, `let's get wed

And many sons will soon be bred'.

Twelve in number, Titans true

Cronus and Atlas were just two.

Ge rebelled, Dad was dispicable.

 Cronus was given a sharp sickle.

Come here, dear Dad', Cronus called,

With one swipe Dad was de-balled.

Uranus trilled, `To you I curse

That your kids will do you worse!'

Cronus married his sister Rhea,

(This was normal for then I fear).

Mindful of his father's hunch

He ate his children for his lunch.

Crafty Rhea changed babe to stone

So little Zeus survived alone.

An emetic for Dad did the trick

The rest he brought up in his sick.

The boys grew up, not too mad

With the antics of their Dad.

 `Lets divide the world', they declared

And decided what should be shared.

Zeus looked up, `I want the sky.'

`I'll rule the dead', Hades did cry.

Poseidon wept, `I want the sea,

Horses in stables, that's for me'.

Hades had fun in land of the dead

Captured his niece, then they were wed.

Poseidon ruled oceans, trident in force,

Raped Demeter disguised as a horse.

Zeus, the thunderer, had wives and lovers

Sired many children by different mothers.

Fathers, sons, daughters, mothers,

Murders, incest, torture and lovers.

Don't read this with derision

You see far worse on the television.

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